在前的要在后

今天第一次为了要救羽毛球而整个身体涌向旁边，扑到在地上。形象 = 零 -.- 那粒球还过得到对面叻，ang gung 到。。

最近好像一直打球到受伤; 前几个礼拜扭到脚踝, 还跟上一次扭到同样的地方。虽然到现在还会隐约作痛，但感谢主没有肿起来。希望不会再有第三次咯。今天脚又多了几个伤口和青肿，很丑料啦。

问了自己：为什么一直受伤？是不是因为现在更加渴望要接到球，想进步；还是自己退步了？

在生活上一直遇到挫折，是不是因为在越想与神亲近时，魔鬼就开始慌张而摆下更多陷阱；还是自己真的到了极限？

耶稣对众人说："你们要努力进窄门 。我告诉你们，将来有许多人想要进去，却是不能。

路加福音 13:24

Hair Straightening.........

Always wanted to try this :P

Have to wait for 3 days untill I can wash my hair. Arghhhhh!

Snapshots of the Week

; And everything feels better

Alecia

Oh crap, here we go again..

And bam! It hits her. Turmoils of emotions - anxiety, fear, anger, dismal, dejection, grief, came together all at once.

Alecia sat in the middle of the room in a near fetal position, hugging her legs with head resting on her knees. She waited for the usual signs; intense pain rhythmically rippled out from the heart and expanded throughout the whole body, numbing the tips of the fingers and feet; blood pumping hastily to the veins and capillaries with each rapid heart beat; and it seems like the lungs just can't get enough oxygen even when she's painstakingly trying to inhale.

 I'm going to die.  

She pictured herself falling into the bottomless pit. Just falling, falling. 

There's nothing I can do to get myself out of here. No one can ever find me. No one cares anyway. Nothing cures, nothing helps. I deserve it. What comes around, goes around. Why do I always have to learn things the hard way? 

Alecia pondered on the notion of whether to jump off a cliff, or going downstairs to search for a knife to cut her wrist, or to go outside now and get hit by a car. Suicide, she thought. Seems to be a valid option to quickly end this chaos at the moment.

Dammit Alecia, you've gone through this for so many times yet you're still mourning over things that can never be undone! Grow up! What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? The worse thing than the end of the world IS the end of the world. I have great friends whom I trust my life with. And I have a God - yeah an awesome God, who is always ready to catch me when I fall. So why the hell am I sitting here and self pitying? Suck it up, Alecia. You can do so much better than this.

Breathe in, breathe out.

I'll be okay. It's not the end of the world yet.

Breathe in, breathe out. Get up.

I will be okay. No worries.